Internet Songs Of The Week
The most important musical creations we found online this week
Hello and welcome to the end of the week. Time to say goodbye to the humdrum 9 to 5, switch off the work phone, pop the Mondeo in the drive and settle down with your significant other for a weekend of cucumber sandwiches, and cracking Sunday night tele.
If you’re not up for that kind of wicked debauchery then you could always go shopping and grab one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s um, interestingly, designed handbags or if you’re lucky enough to live in Hackney you can go out and get drunk until the early hours before you can’t anymore.
Anyway, loosen your tie, untuck your shirt and listen to all the songs that made our internet lives interesting this week.
Slaves – Sockets
Virgin EMISlaves are co-opting genuine, life-destroying inequality cause they think it sounds cool next to their riffs. Slaves think ‘Slaves’ is a cool word. Slaves aren’t just silly, ill-informed, harmless fun. The things they say and the message of passive ignorance they promote for their own flimsy ends is genuinely dangerous, because they’ve been given a platform to reach vulnerable young people. I wish them nothing but ill will. Have a good weekend.
New Order – Restless
Mute RecordsOooh, errr, New Order are back and errm, Peter Hook’s nowhere to be seen. Oh no, wait, there he is playing third on the bill at an irrelevant festival in Wiltshire. Hi Peter Hook. Have you heard New Order’s song? It is, to use the parlance of your day, mint mate.
Mint.
Hidden Spheres – Bill Loves You
This track, for me, is the sound of a sunkissed crowd, all shimmying their hips to the groovy parps of a trumpet and smooth, pulsing funk. It’s elevator music at its sexiest. Refreshingly lighter than usual, this Lobster Theremin track is House at its softest and most soulful.
If it’s raining where you are, wang this on for a light insertion of Summer, salt-touselled cocktail bar class.
Oh, and remember, Bill loves you.
Drake – Charged Up
October's Very OwnThe internet was all of a-tizz this week with the Meek Mill vs. Drake ghostwriting beef going on. Loads of memes happened all over the world wide web, and using my patented ‘meme-o-meter’, I can officially tell you that the internet thought the first diss track from Drake was “good”, his next one was “a bit better again”, and that yesterday’s effort from Meek Mill was “100% wank”.
We in the Crack office on the other hand (if pushed to give an opinion on the whole cruddy affair) think the whole thing is “a load of piffling shit”, “pathetic” and a “ruddy debacle”.
Anyway, it’s an undeniable Internet Song of the Week, so here’s the one that kicked the whole twatty thing off – Drake’s Charged Up. All together now, yawwwn.
Ossia – Red X
Blackest Ever Black“The dirt, the filth, and corruption”, are words taken from Peter Tosh’s personal diaries, decrying Babylon rule just prior to his murder in 1987. It’s a fitting manifesto for the sonic nihilism presented by Young Echo member Ossia, marrying the label’s dubwise swagger with Blackest Ever Black’s gothically dark aesthetic. As well as running the RWD>>FWD site and overseeing the Peng Sound, No Corner and Hotline labels, Ossia has previously released as DJ Oa$is alongside DJ Ape, aka Vessel. His first solo outing, Red X is quite the entrance – portentous, industrialised dub that lurks in the corner, simmering in its own soft menace. With elements of dub, noise and techno, its technoir prowl never quite reaches boiling point, instead remaining submerged and skulking throughout. More of this please. Forever.
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