02 10

Jay Z & Kanye West Watch The Throne Roc-A-Fella/Roc Nation

A garbled exploration into the limitless depths of egotism possessed by these two individuals, so devoid of lyrical relevance to the average listener, so schizophrenic in its composition, so deluded in its grandeur, Watch The Throne is a must-listen for everyone who loves music and needs to be reminded of everything which is an affront to that passion.

Perched atop their high throne as if presiding over an evil monarchy, Jay Z and Kanye West have lost touch with any soul and aptitude they once possessed. Numerous times along Crack’s beleaguered journey through this misguided milestone record, a sustained moment of enjoyment and brilliance was bitterly crushed by the sudden imposition of the kind of bizarre gibberish that only a criminally wealthy lunatic could produce. Like Stalin in the days of his Soviet personality cult, the pair seem so insulated from anyone important with a contrary opinion that they can exercise whatever peculiar musical whims they wish and have it hailed as cutting-edge genius. Jay Z and Kanye have lost all ability to see the world outside the prism of their crushing bank balance. Jay now has “so many watches” he needs “eight arms”, whereas Kanye complains that he needs a “bullet proof condom when I’m in these hoes” because bitches be after his riches.

However, the most distasteful aspect of this albums release has been the two-week exclusivity deal with iTunes and Best Buy that seems to be an entirely unnecessary attack on independent record stores. With an estimated 75% of demand for the album likely to be satisfied in this period, the potential loss of income for smaller retailers, should this become a precedent for other major releases, is enormous. Like meagre peasants at the bottom of their tyrannical feudal system, the track Who Gon Stop Me is a taunting reminder of all of our powerlessness.

Mark Breakdown:

Featuring artists & producers: +10

Fleeting moments of outstanding talent: +2

Comedy Value: +2

Lyrical dexterity & meaning: -6

Exclusivity deal: -3