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Weezer Everything Will Be Alright In The End


If our crudely worked out (read; Googled) estimates are to be trusted Rivers Cuomo already has around 30 million dollars to his name. That makes him what most normal people would consider “very rich.” He’s not like Jay-Z rich but still, he’s got enough money to sit around and do nothing for the rest of his life if he wants to. Clearly not content with kicking back in a solid gold hammock, eating bottomless bags of Doritos and listening to that song about Piña Coladas on repeat for the rest of his life he’s chosen to write and release another sub par record.

Addressed to the legions of fans he’s let down over the years Everything Will Be Alright In The End is Cuomo’s formal apology for releasing a string of successively disappointing albums after releasing one really, really good album twenty years ago. This could well be the beginning of a never ending cycle. Because this album is, for want of a better phrase, absolutely fucking horrific. There’s one good track on the whole thing and it’s the one that Beth from Best Coast wrote. To be honest if, in a parallel universe, Rivers had just been chilling since The Blue Album and dropped in on a one-off collab for a Best Coast album we’d probably be drooling ourselves into a stupor over it. Trust. We’re not.

Don’t get us wrong though, we’re huge fans of Cuomo’s optimism and we’re sure that everything will be alright in the end. But for now everything is just an embarrassing, self-deprecating mess that’s crying itself to sleep over a career that’s maintained about as much forward trajectory as a wingless aeroplane.