Where were you when you first heard pirate radio? How did it feel when those frequencies first burst through the airwaves and out those speakers? For one man, this timeless auditory sensation became a way of life. That man is MC Grindah, the head honcho of Kurupt FM (108.9FM), a West London MC of the highest calibre, and the star of BBC Three’s People Just Do Nothing, which follows Grindah and his Kurupt collective as they keep the radio station alive.
As you might imagine, he’s a very busy man. If he’s not tearing up Brentford club raves (there’s a rumour going round that he invented the rewind) then he’s locked in the studio resting comfortably somewhere between 130 and 135bpm. We managed to pin Grindah down for 20 very important questions. Best believe, the rest is irrelevant.
What was your favourite cartoon when you were a kid?
Cartoons are made by the government to brainwash kids. I remember Captain Planet coming on one day and I was like, rah, hold on… this whole thing is basically just trying to brainwash me into recycling. No way. I have purposefully gone through my entire life and never recycled anything ever. Cartoons are dangerous.
What’s the most overrated album of all time?
Probably any dubstep album ever made, it’s disgusting. I actually find it hard to talk about to be honest. I get a lump in my throat.
Favourite board game?
Monopoly probably cos it reminds me of my life – just gradually taking over the whole of London. It does take ages though. Actually, thinking about it, I always got bored and hated it. Put Kerplunk.
Happy hardcore or jump-up drum ‘n’ bass?
Garage and Jungle. Next!
What’s your signature recipe?
I do a decent fry-up, but I can’t touch raw meat so Miche has to do the bacon and the sausages. To be honest once she’s already doing them I normally just let her do the rest of it as well, but I always stand behind her and direct her how I like everything done. So it’s still my recipe.
More of a fry-up man to be honest, but if I have cereal it would probably be Frosties with bare sugar on top.
What’s in your grocery cupboard?
Grocery cupboard?! It’s not the olden days mate! Nah to be honest you’d have to ask Miche. I’m a modern man – I give her all the power when it comes to the flat. She gets to shop, clean and cook whenever she wants.
Wayne’s World or Bill & Ted?
Ahh that’s a hard one. I love double acts. It’s sort of like me and [Kurrupt’s resident DJ] Beats innit? We’ll probably bang out one of these classic hit films at some point and make bare money and disappear like those lot… You never really see them about anymore…
What are you wearing?
Moschino pattern shirt, black Versace jeans, black Ralph Lauren hat, black Nike Air Max, Nike socks and, errr let me see…. Primark tartan boxer shorts. Don’t really matter with that bit ‘cause no one sees it.
If you were trying to seduce a potential lover, what music would you play?
Probably some ladies’ garage tunes… like that Sticky tune – Things We Do For Love with Shola Ama, something like that to show my sensitive side, and then once they’re relaxed, BANG! Put Get Out the Way on and just pull down my jeans.
Who’s your favourite celebrity?
Hmm… probably Bob Marley or DJ EZ… Both legendary, but EZ is a DJ and I’m an MC, so I probably relate more to Bob.
If you could adopt a grandparent, who would you choose?
Probably Patrick from Eastenders.
Is there a piece of advice you wish you’d given to yourself ten years ago?
No. I gave myself the best advice – never stop doing what you’re doing. And ten years later here I am. I haven’t changed and I am still doing exactly what I was doing ten years ago.
What’s the furthest you’ve ever run in one go?
I can run from the bottom of Brentford High Street to the rooftop of the block we transmit from in three minutes 38 seconds flat. Shout out to the Brentford filth! I sees ya! By the time you’ve parked your car I’ve already taken down the station you mugs!
Have you ever been arrested?
I’ve done a two stretch mate, what do you think?
Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met?
Saw Wookie on the train one time. I tried to get a photo but when I stopped him I realised I had a 3210 at the time and there was no camera. But still chatted to him for a while about the garage circuit and that, and then he had to go ‘cause he needed to move down the carriage for some reason.
At what age did you lose your virginity?
Have you spoke to Beats? Nah? 13 then.
Rate these Dannys in order of how much you like them; Danny Dyer, Danny Glover and Danny DeVito.
Don’t care. Don’t care. Don’t care.
Describe yourself in three words.
STRONG, POWERFUL, LYRICAL … GOOD LOOKING.
What would you want written on your tombstone?
I would want no words, just an engraving of my face screaming into a microphone. And maybe a Moschino background.
People Just Do Nothing is showing on BBC Three, all episodes are available to watch on iPlayer now