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Welcome to our brand new Crack Magazine Agony Aunt – Nakhane.

Looking for wisdom on sex, self-love and navigating your way through the world? The South African actor and musician is here to help. This month, he covers the important stuff: from fashion inspo to taking fire nudes.

Want your questions answered next month? Email them to agonyaunt@crackmagazine.net.

Dear Nakhane,

I have just completed my MA in performance design. I want a job in the arts and I feel like I am very talented but I struggle with confidence in seeing my projects through. Do you have any advice on how I find the right environment to nurture my talents?

Kind regards,

N

Hi N,

You already know that you’re talented. That’s the first step. And it’s a difficult one. But N, how are we supposed to know you’re talented if you won’t finish your goddamn work? Finish finish finish.

Here’s a secret: it will never measure up to what you want it to be. That’s why we keep on creating. We are chasing an ideal. Does it exist? Maybe not. But we finish the work and we create another one. Fail, and fail again.

Just enjoy the process and surround yourself with friends who know you and know what you’re trying to achieve. If they’re critical, don’t rake their criticism personally. Instead look at it as something that will help you get better.

Dear Nakhane,

I was kicked out of my family home by my parents for coming out as gay when I was 18. As a queer African, I’m not accepted not only by my family, but also in my home country and the wider world. Recently my parents got in touch to see how I’m doing. What can I do to repair this relationship?

Anonymous, London

Dear Anonymous,

Firstly I want to tell you how amazing you are for surviving such a traumatic event. Surviving rejection from the people who are supposed to love and protect you is nothing to sneeze at.

Now in regards to repairing your relationship with your family: If you believe that you are ready to do it, then do it. But I would advise you to be cautious. It can be very easy for family to go right back to the hurtful people they were before they decided that they were ready to accept you. You need to protect yourself from that. Not only that, though; you must remember that you don’t have to take any of their shit anymore. You owe them nothing.

Above everything, remember that you are not alone. There’s a queer family that will love you for who you are. And you can choose them.

 

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When your album is coming out in a day. 😭😭❤️❤️😱😱😱 #YOUWILLNOTDIE out 16th March. TOMORROW.

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Hi Nakhane,

What/who are your influences when it comes to fashion? How can I work a look like you do?

Hiyeee,

My mom is my fashion icon. I’ve based a lot of my looks on looks that she rocked in the 80s. Do you know what I learnt from looking at photographs of her then? It seems like they were not afraid to look ridiculous. They were having fun. So (!) even if you are a little unsure of a look, sashay down the street like the goddess Naomi Campbell her damn self.

 

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Elevator Chronicles: On my way to say things, to learn things, to listen to things. Stuntin’ on you again in this @harryhalim coat.

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Nakhane,

How can I take fire nudes?

Hi Nudey McNudenson,

Welcome light and shadow as your friends. Play with angles. Put your phone between your legs, crop your photographs into interesting frames. And don’t be afraid of humour. You’re taking a naked photograph of yourself, for the sake of Christ. At least give yourself or the person they’re being sent to a laugh.

To Nakhane,

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my email.

I need advice for my future. I’m Japanese but I want to travel to pursue my creative passions. I’d like to go to the UK, especially London. Everyone says it’s too difficult to move, but I don’t want to give up. What tips do you have on leaving town and following your dreams?

Anne

Hi Anne,

Thank you for writing, babe. So here’s the thing:

Nothing that really matters is easy. If you truly believe that moving to London is something you need to do, then be ready to struggle. But also, be ready to work really hard. From what I read you love what you do, so be ready to make some sacrifices. Does this read like doom and gloom? It’s not. Because in between all that hard work (which can be really fun) you will be rewarded with moments of absolute joy because you fucking moved all the way from Japan to the ‘United Kingdom’!

Finally: take some time off when you’re here and go for a walk in the park alone and reflect.

 

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Living my best Caucasian life. 📷 by @nicolacockroft

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